So recently there was a blog entry about me launching scissors at Poopface's head. And yes, I did in fact do this. I was going to get a free pass on all my exams but I missed. She did not barrel roll, Poopface is not at all barrel shaped and there is no way she could acomplish this feet without that particular shape.
Also, she's not the fuckin spiderman! I did not get webbed to the wall because Poopface is in no way powered by the venom of a radioactive spider. She's just a no good, lying whore (Ok, maybe not a whore, that's a bit harsh) but she did lie to you! She lied to every last one of you. She isn't spiderman, she doesn't swing from a web and dress in shiny spandex (Although i would like to see that) and she most certianly did not defeat me. My aim was simply off. But mark my words Poopface! I will get you before this week is out. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
~Buffmuffin
P.S. She is still not spiderman, just making sure you know that.
(That is what I made her believe. MWAHAHAHAHA. Little does she know the mayhem that I ensue while she sleeps)
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Death to Poopface?! I think not!
Buttmuffin just tried to kill me today. As a hobby, I paint and around the middle of last year I got her into painting as well. Last year I also had this really awesome idea to print off words and put them on a canvas to display emotions or funny quotes. This was the first one I ever made for my best friend last year. He is a huge flirt so a lot of these were funny and would appeal to him.
Wow, it looks so much lamer. Ah well. The colors are writing are WAY darker in the real thing. :(
Anyway, BUTTMUFFIN decided she wanted to make one as well. Sweet, yo! Well, she asked me to cut out some of her lines since she had a lot which is fine and all EXCEPT next thing I know there is a pair of SCISSORS FLYING PAST MY FACE. Luckily I managed to barrel roll to safety and shoot spider webs out of my wrists to in case her in a cocoon. All was made right in the end.
But geez, Buttmuffin. I know you wanted to get excused from all of your exams, but seriously? You will not defeat me so easily!
Also, you're lucky I have a force field around my computer so you can't hurt it or else I would have murdered you. >.<
----Poopface out to get Buttmuffin off the ceiling where she left her.
Today I decided to apply the same concept to another canvas except I used happy quotes and other
such things that would brighten someone's day.
Anyway, BUTTMUFFIN decided she wanted to make one as well. Sweet, yo! Well, she asked me to cut out some of her lines since she had a lot which is fine and all EXCEPT next thing I know there is a pair of SCISSORS FLYING PAST MY FACE. Luckily I managed to barrel roll to safety and shoot spider webs out of my wrists to in case her in a cocoon. All was made right in the end.
But geez, Buttmuffin. I know you wanted to get excused from all of your exams, but seriously? You will not defeat me so easily!
Also, you're lucky I have a force field around my computer so you can't hurt it or else I would have murdered you. >.<
----Poopface out to get Buttmuffin off the ceiling where she left her.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
So Poopface and I decided to get all nostalgic this evening. That's right, we went all the way back to our childhood to watch a movie neither of us has seen in years. Anastasia. That crazy Russian chick didn't even know she was a princess till the end, and it had so many emotions. And that crazy monk! Rasputin is a sack of insane, but you just have to love him. It was a lovely day, spent doing laundry (Well Poopface did mine) and watching movies. And damn was it awesome :)
~Buttmuffin
~Buttmuffin
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Take ALL THE VACATIONS!
This past Thursday, for those that live in the lovely United States, was Thanksgiving. Which, for those who aren't familiar, is when we celebrate genocide and land theft by stuffing ourselves silly. You have all the classics, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and of course, pumpkin pie. And then the next day is Black Friday, when all of us Americans trample each other for sales right after being thankful for what we already have. Aren't we just the best?
Well since it was a holiday we both left out little dorm room to go home and celebrate with family. The university kind of forces us to go home because they close the cafeterias so no one can eat if they stay behind. And hey, who can argue with a four day weekend away?
Buttmuffin, the lovely woman that she is, went to her father's home on Tuesday. The entire time there she slept on an air mattress in her sister's room and cuddled with a four pound chihuahua named Rasputin.
She learned to bake, which ended with flour all over the kitchen. Her boyfriend showed up for Thanksgiving dinner and ended up covered in whipped cream when the rest of the family started throwing it. Then it was off to her boyfriend's to throw a birthday party. She took him to see Rise of the Guardians on Friday and the theator was full of children that didn't have class because of the holiday. The birthday party lead to the kitchen being covered in cake batter and frosting and Buttmuffin made a DND character....yeah, slowly she's becoming an uber-nerd. But she's the sexiest damn uber-nerd you'll ever meet. It was a productive, fun, crazy holiday but of course, she was happy to get back and see Poopface again. After all, when you live together you form a lovely little bond.
(She's so sweet. *pinches her cheek* Love you too roommate! -Poopface)
So the face of poop had a lovely break as well. Poopface spent the beginning of her break babysitting her sister's new labrador terrier puppy named Bodie. See that cute rascal below? That was Bodie 1 month ago. He's 3x that size now and he is still teething. Ack! Poopface had to fight a great battle this weekend.She still has the battle scars.
Asides from that, her family had a lovely feast of the typical stuff plus mashed sweet potatoes, green bean salad, and yellow rice with almonds, peas and crumbled meat-substitute for the vegetarian in the family (aka Poopface). Poopface spent the rest of the time seeing her boyfriend, passing around an xbox and shopping (she did write a paper in that time too, but eh who wants to know about my homework accomplishments?). She ended up buying way too much dog stuff, Assassins Creed 3 (which she is currently really upset with since it is not as great as she was hoping), and Harry Pooper Deathly Hallows 1&2 for her sister. She was very excited to leave her dull yet always in conflict family to come and see her lovely roommate! It's always a good day when one gets to see Buttmuffin.
(Awww...do you see how much this bitch loves me? I love her too.
-Buttmuffin)
So yeah, holidays are good things, we do crazy things, spend time with families we sometimes hate, and in the end we get to come back to school and see each other. Life is good when you're a Poopface and a Buttmuffin.
Well since it was a holiday we both left out little dorm room to go home and celebrate with family. The university kind of forces us to go home because they close the cafeterias so no one can eat if they stay behind. And hey, who can argue with a four day weekend away?
Buttmuffin, the lovely woman that she is, went to her father's home on Tuesday. The entire time there she slept on an air mattress in her sister's room and cuddled with a four pound chihuahua named Rasputin.
She learned to bake, which ended with flour all over the kitchen. Her boyfriend showed up for Thanksgiving dinner and ended up covered in whipped cream when the rest of the family started throwing it. Then it was off to her boyfriend's to throw a birthday party. She took him to see Rise of the Guardians on Friday and the theator was full of children that didn't have class because of the holiday. The birthday party lead to the kitchen being covered in cake batter and frosting and Buttmuffin made a DND character....yeah, slowly she's becoming an uber-nerd. But she's the sexiest damn uber-nerd you'll ever meet. It was a productive, fun, crazy holiday but of course, she was happy to get back and see Poopface again. After all, when you live together you form a lovely little bond.
(She's so sweet. *pinches her cheek* Love you too roommate! -Poopface)
So the face of poop had a lovely break as well. Poopface spent the beginning of her break babysitting her sister's new labrador terrier puppy named Bodie. See that cute rascal below? That was Bodie 1 month ago. He's 3x that size now and he is still teething. Ack! Poopface had to fight a great battle this weekend.She still has the battle scars.
(Awww...do you see how much this bitch loves me? I love her too.
-Buttmuffin)
So yeah, holidays are good things, we do crazy things, spend time with families we sometimes hate, and in the end we get to come back to school and see each other. Life is good when you're a Poopface and a Buttmuffin.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
ERMERGERD HERT CHERKLERT!!!
So today some group in our hall decided to do the S'mores Hotline as a great way to gather food items for the needy. They made s'mores and hot chocolate, then for the small price of two non perishable food items per item you ordered, they delivered the goodies to your dorm room. So of course, Poopface and I just had to order two cups of hot chocolate a piece. Hot chocolate is always great, but hot chocolate you only have to pay for using mac and cheese and you don't have to get off your butt to make...now that's good stuff.
The sugar in the drinks was enough to make us act out, and I bring you the first ever Poopface and Buttmuffin photo shoot. This is, ERMERGERD HERT CHERKLERT!!!
Hello there readers, we just so happen to be watching you......
I think we're both monkeys......or Poopface is just Asian and I'm angry...your call reader.
I will murder my roommate with a ballpoint pen and gain a free pass on all the calculus exams!
I must taste good or something cause Poopface wanted to eat me.
Awww...see we are actually capable of normality every once in a while, aren't we cute.
Well, normality is gone, back to being ridiculous in every way possible.
We are Dr. Evil and Mini Me! Not sure who is Mini Me, I really hope it's me though :)
(Mini Me is most definitely Buttmuffin)
Who doesn't love our feet? We certainly adore them!
Stare deep into our eyes so we may read your soul!
Spock meet bunny ears, your only weakness!
We have read your soul....it's a scary place. You should get it dry-cleaned.
Mmmmmm, Buttmuffin enjoys her hot chocolate very much. Care to join us for a cup?
Taking a sip from the spoon because it was hot stuff, just like me :D
Mmmmm Styrofoam cup....so good. Wait...what the fuck is this hot chocolate doing in my cup...Buttmuffin! You ruined my cup!
So yeah, this is us, being us. And Poopface is hitting me in the head with laffy taffy so I'm going to find that ballpoint pen and take care of this.
~Buttmuffin
I AM NOT A BUM!
It has been brought to my attention that Poopface called me a bum in her last post, and while I do in fact have a bum (A rather sexy one I might add) I am not a bum. I may forget to empty the coffee grounds out of the coffee pot when Poopface wants to make tea, but that's hardly being a bum. I am also a terrible house wife, Poopface will tell you, I forget to have dinner ready (or really to be here to go to dinner when she gets out of class), I leave dishes to be washed a week after a party, and apparently I keep a messy household....there is cross stitching stuff all over my desk!
But does that really make me a bum? I don't think so, if anything that just makes me a bad person to marry. So what did we learn from this post? One- Poopface is a liar, Two-Buttmuffin is not a bum, Three-Buttmuffin is a terrible house wife and Four-Buttmuffin will never be married because she sucks at being a house wife.
Forever Alone,
Buttmuffin
But does that really make me a bum? I don't think so, if anything that just makes me a bad person to marry. So what did we learn from this post? One- Poopface is a liar, Two-Buttmuffin is not a bum, Three-Buttmuffin is a terrible house wife and Four-Buttmuffin will never be married because she sucks at being a house wife.
Forever Alone,
Buttmuffin
How to deal with break-ups.
Oh the big question. How does one breakup nicely with somebody else? The answer is simple: Don't breakup with anybody! For those of us that don't live such a simplistic lifestyle we need a much more complex approach. I'm not quite sure how this conversation come up with our friend's at lunch the other day, but alas it did.
Apparently, the best way to approach a breakup with a girl is to buy her some chick flick, ice cream and then breakup with her. I don't like chick flicks so maybe a gore-filled movie like Lord of the Rings so I can imagine the bad guy as my ex-boyfriend. I would find that much more satisfying especially if my favorite character got to chop his head off!
Now for all of the girls out there ("woot woot") the best way to breakup with a guy is to get him porn, a fleshlight and then breakup with him. I personally feel like the average guy would be like "the fuck is this shit". Not everyone appreciates the goodness of a fleshlight so the second option would be to get him a video game. I would suggest Madden or Fifa since guys are boring and don't play other far more EXCITING games.
The overall moral to get out of this is that Buttmuffin should not talk about these things during lunch where half of the school is around us and can hear us. >.<
Buttmuffin just told me die because apparently if your roommate dies during finals week you get a free ride on your finals which would mean she would actually pass her Calculus 2 exam. Lazy bum.
-Poopface
Apparently, the best way to approach a breakup with a girl is to buy her some chick flick, ice cream and then breakup with her. I don't like chick flicks so maybe a gore-filled movie like Lord of the Rings so I can imagine the bad guy as my ex-boyfriend. I would find that much more satisfying especially if my favorite character got to chop his head off!
Now for all of the girls out there ("woot woot") the best way to breakup with a guy is to get him porn, a fleshlight and then breakup with him. I personally feel like the average guy would be like "the fuck is this shit". Not everyone appreciates the goodness of a fleshlight so the second option would be to get him a video game. I would suggest Madden or Fifa since guys are boring and don't play other far more EXCITING games.
The overall moral to get out of this is that Buttmuffin should not talk about these things during lunch where half of the school is around us and can hear us. >.<
Buttmuffin just told me die because apparently if your roommate dies during finals week you get a free ride on your finals which would mean she would actually pass her Calculus 2 exam. Lazy bum.
-Poopface
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
The Inner Workings of Teh Poopface
Hey everybody!
Welcome to the blog my roommate and I have started. We bicker like a married couple a lot so why not release all dem pent up old people hormones in a BLOG? Woo!
I guess I will start by telling you a little bit about myself. My name is actually Lizzy. The nickname poopface came around because my roommate and I were adding each other on Steam (it's a hub of awesomeness. You should download it if you have not yet. Seriously, it's free. Who doesn't like free stuff?) and it just so happens that my Steam account was made by my brother who made my username poopface (Do I smell bad or something?). Now my LOVELY roommate never lets me live the nickname down.
Enough about that. Now onto the reason we started reading this post: to learn about the awesome Lizzy. I'm nineteen years old. I'm a professional copy and paster (aka student). What could I tell you about me? Oh goodness...ALL the things. Here's the simplified version: I'm 40% nerd, 20% artistically talented (I paint and cross-stitch and do other artsy things), 20% video gamer (I wish I was awesome at Halo. Someone should teach me), 10% ninja, 5% animal enthusiast (I has lots-o fish) and 5% OMG SQUIRREL!
Welcome to the blog my roommate and I have started. We bicker like a married couple a lot so why not release all dem pent up old people hormones in a BLOG? Woo!
I guess I will start by telling you a little bit about myself. My name is actually Lizzy. The nickname poopface came around because my roommate and I were adding each other on Steam (it's a hub of awesomeness. You should download it if you have not yet. Seriously, it's free. Who doesn't like free stuff?) and it just so happens that my Steam account was made by my brother who made my username poopface (Do I smell bad or something?). Now my LOVELY roommate never lets me live the nickname down.
 |
| Grumpy Lizzy is grumpy from the nickname |
Enough about that. Now onto the reason we started reading this post: to learn about the awesome Lizzy. I'm nineteen years old. I'm a professional copy and paster (aka student). What could I tell you about me? Oh goodness...ALL the things. Here's the simplified version: I'm 40% nerd, 20% artistically talented (I paint and cross-stitch and do other artsy things), 20% video gamer (I wish I was awesome at Halo. Someone should teach me), 10% ninja, 5% animal enthusiast (I has lots-o fish) and 5% OMG SQUIRREL!
Now begins your journey. The road will be dangerous so take one of these:
Now go, young padawan! And may the odds be ever in your favor.
-Poopface
The Barely Tolerable Tale of Buttmuffin
Chapter One:
I was born in a quiet....you know what, no, I'm not going to do this to you guys. I'm going to just stop myself right there and just not deal with it. No one wants to hear another boring rant about where someone else was born and how their childhood messed them up. That's nonsense!
Okay, starting over, we're going to pretend that first paragraph never happened. I'm Kryssy, I'm a college student living with the fantastic and always wonderful Poopface, who should be working on her own little intro right now...in fact I can see her typing it from my desk. All I have to do is turn around and there she is, typing away.
But back to me, I am a poet with two books of poetry published. I am also an erotic writer and I've been working on an epic novel project to end all epic novels. I also write a shit ton of short stories about everything from ghosts, to death, to graveyards....you know what...it's pretty safe to assume all I write about is the darker side of human nature so let's move on.
I cross stitch, it's a hobby that passes the time and makes me feel like and old lady, but I love it anyway. It keeps my brain occupied so it doesn't spew whatever odd things lurk in it all over the room. I paint as well, Poopface got me into that. She was painting one day and demanded I join her, so I did. It was a lovely experience and I greatly enjoy the hobby.
So based on all this crazy information I bet you're thinking "This chick has got to be one of those crazy art majors that piss everyone off because they're so posh". I wish I was one of those people, but alas, I'm just the med student that pisses everyone off by making them think I should really be an art major :) Isn't it just so much fun. I do enjoy art and all that jazz, but I just don't have the right sort of patience to major in anything artistic.
This blog is for Poopface and I to show you something you've never seen before. We'll take you on an epic journey...no, a quest. A quest for the Holy Grail! Wait...that's already been done hasn't it? Hmmm...then how about a quest for knowledge. What kind of knowledge you ask? Well the kind that only a Poopface and Buttmuffin can offer.
Happy Questing,
Buttmuffin
Chapter One:
I was born in a quiet....you know what, no, I'm not going to do this to you guys. I'm going to just stop myself right there and just not deal with it. No one wants to hear another boring rant about where someone else was born and how their childhood messed them up. That's nonsense!
Okay, starting over, we're going to pretend that first paragraph never happened. I'm Kryssy, I'm a college student living with the fantastic and always wonderful Poopface, who should be working on her own little intro right now...in fact I can see her typing it from my desk. All I have to do is turn around and there she is, typing away.
But back to me, I am a poet with two books of poetry published. I am also an erotic writer and I've been working on an epic novel project to end all epic novels. I also write a shit ton of short stories about everything from ghosts, to death, to graveyards....you know what...it's pretty safe to assume all I write about is the darker side of human nature so let's move on.
I cross stitch, it's a hobby that passes the time and makes me feel like and old lady, but I love it anyway. It keeps my brain occupied so it doesn't spew whatever odd things lurk in it all over the room. I paint as well, Poopface got me into that. She was painting one day and demanded I join her, so I did. It was a lovely experience and I greatly enjoy the hobby.
So based on all this crazy information I bet you're thinking "This chick has got to be one of those crazy art majors that piss everyone off because they're so posh". I wish I was one of those people, but alas, I'm just the med student that pisses everyone off by making them think I should really be an art major :) Isn't it just so much fun. I do enjoy art and all that jazz, but I just don't have the right sort of patience to major in anything artistic.
This blog is for Poopface and I to show you something you've never seen before. We'll take you on an epic journey...no, a quest. A quest for the Holy Grail! Wait...that's already been done hasn't it? Hmmm...then how about a quest for knowledge. What kind of knowledge you ask? Well the kind that only a Poopface and Buttmuffin can offer.
Happy Questing,
Buttmuffin
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